It seems that as soon as I feel like "hey, things are ok," I am reminded how sad my state of affairs currently is. I just had to spend money on a new washer and dryer, only to find out that people who had my house before made some sort of makeshift draining system that confounded my plumber (it's never good to hear, "I'm not sure how your basement hasn't flooded by now") and cost nine hundred dollars to fix. Seriously, universe, what are you trying to tell me? What do I need to learn so I can move on from the woe-is-me phase of things?
In good news, I managed to get my room cleaned and decluttered. Next is the stockpile from couponing. My sister and I have enough toothpaste to last a few years at this point (and I didn't pay for any of it - viva la coupons!), but it was just all over the place. I finally had to put my foot down as our house was starting to look like an episode of Hoarders.
Slowly trying to get rid of my mother's stuff. I have finally let go of any feelings of sentimentality and guilt that I've had about the possibility of selling/donating/trashing her things. Both her and my father were pack rats and I'm drowning in stuff. Argh.
Also good - I have been off all soda for 47 days today. It has not been easy and some days I really want a Coke, but I drink my water and if I need something sweet, I have a glass of Newman's Own Lemonade. I now want to turn my success with soda into success with snacking.
Even better than good? Today is wishcasting Wednesday. I've been neglecting the lovely circle of wishcasters and I resolve to correct that immediately.
Today Jamie asks:
"Quit hanging on to the handrails....Let Go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life.
Do it every day." - Melodie Beattie
Building on what I wrote above, I wish to delight in some sense of stability and organization in my life. I feel like things are in chaos - emotionally and physically - and I keep having these dreams of just packing up my car with what I need and moving on. No strings attached. Nothing to hold me back. While I'm not quite ready to just abandon my house and job and such, I do think my subconscious wants me to free myself a bit.
I wish to breathe easily, without fear and what if thoughts bogging me down. I wish to delight in all the small triumphs I make on my way and to remember them when things are tough and I need proof that I am capable. I wish to feel like I'm flying or riding in a ferris wheel like the one in the picture, looking out into the distance, wind brushing against my cheeks and the sun giving way to night. Free and happy.
What do you wish for?