to dreams and choosing...

I'm pretty sure that the universe is currently trying to teach me a lesson of some sort, maybe test how far it can push me before I break.  Or it's just my time to feel completely dumped on - root canal with crown getting done today, roof leaking in the sun room from the torrential rain storms, car had to go into mechanic, and we lost our verizon triple play (phone, internet, cable) for three days.  when it rains, it pours, my friends.  And I'm trying to balance feeling genuinely frustrated with the guilt of my first world problems.  My head is a chaotic place at the moment.

But it is Wishcasting Wednesday, a chance to put all that aside and wish and hope and share with others.

Today Jamie asks:

What do you wish to choose?

courtesy of we heart it

My immediate answer is that I wish to choose myself.  That seems too simple and that probably means it's actually extremely complicated.  I think I wish to choose my creativity over the things I put in my own way.  I'm quite skilled at procrastinating to an unhealthy level.  I always find different things to keep me from writing or doodling or knitting.  I'll play solitaire for forty minutes for no real reason except it's a way to avoid the work.  I'm scared and I hear the voices of people telling me that being creative and dreaming are wastes of my time and to "grow up" and I acquiesce.  I waste time and only make myself unhappy.

It's funny this question arises on the same day I receive the following Daily Truth from the Brave Girls Club - "...PLEASE, wonderful friend, PLEASE do not let yourself get tricked into the idea that if your dreams are coming true, or that your life is good, or that you have found peace....that it means that you took that opportunity away from someone else.  AND PLEASE do not let yourself EVER believe that because someone else is living the kind of life that you want to live, that 'those kinds of lives' are all taken up....it just is not so! There is enough for you, too..."

There is enough for me too.  I just need to believe it.

I wish to choose myself and what I truly want over the voices in my head that want what's "right" or "grown-up."  I wish to get out of my own way.