I'm not sure where the past few months have gone, but they seem to have flown by.  Work has been keeping me busy as I transition into my new managerial role.  I'm quite proud of myself for how well I've handled things and all that I've learned in a short time.  Sure, I already know the organization and that helps, but I've worked hard to get myself on track and it seems to be paying off.

I'm currently interviewing for admin positions and I keep considering creating a blog post of dos and don'ts of resumes and interviewing.  I thought many of these things - spell check your resume, show up on time for interviews - were a given, but apparently not.  While I wait to see if my next interview shows up, I figured I would take a few moments to participate in Wischcasting Wednesday.

I definitely miss the wishing and the sense of community I get from it.  I need to make the time for it and myself.

This week Jamie asks:

What is Your Spring Wish?

courtesy of we heart it

"With the coming of spring, I am calm again." - Gustav Mahler

I wish to find time for myself again this Spring.  I wish to enjoy my creativity and dream big and write and explore the characters trapped in my brain.  I wish to run around outside and forget my troubles.    I wish to clean my house of the clutter that's bogging down my brain and person.  I wish to be...

try...

It's been so long since I took part in Wishcasting Wednesday.  Things have been busy and whenever I would think about it, I would say, "Okay, in a little bit when I have some time" and then it would be Thursday morning and I would remember I never participated in the weekly wishcast.  I miss it and I've decided to do my best to make a little time for myself to reflect and wish and share with the circle.  It makes my Wednesdays that much better and will aid me with my personal goal of creative growth.

This week Jamie asks:

What do you wish to try?

courtesy of we heart it

Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing. – Denis Waitley

There are a lot of things I want to try.  I've slowly been learning the past few years that while fear is not a bad thing, it shouldn't control me, especially when I'm mostly concerned with the what if it doesn't work?  It won't always work...but how will I know without taking a chance?    

This year:  I wish to try to write a young adult novel.  I wish to try to take this small little idea for a blog I thought up and have it come to fruition.  I wish to try to excavate a little bit more of my creative soul that I've kept hidden away for so long.  I wish to try laughing more and not being so hard on myself.  I wish to try whatever I think of as a possibility without allowing the small voice in the back of my mind from stopping me before I even start.

Day 5 & 6: Reverb 10 (Let Go & Make)

Once again, I totally forgot about Reverb 10 yesterday.  I'm not going to beat myself up about it as I think that defeats the purpose of the whole exercise, but where is my memory going?

December 5th: Let Go.  What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

I've been on an continuing journey to let go of all the baggage I've been carrying around for thirty-some years, so afraid to stop protecting my mother from the emotional pain she inflicted on me and the ways I shut down because of it.  It's been painful, enlightening, and I'm not sure I've ever cried so much in my life.  I'm still a long way from completely free, but I'm slowly letting go of the anger and disappointment with her, myself, and my life and focus on the present.  The now.


December 6th:  Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

I haven't made anything with my hands in a very long time.  I want to do it.  I want to learn and explore, but I'm so scared because I fear imperfection and I'm such a far cry from that when it comes to making things.  Logically, I know it's silly, but it's like a brick wall.  I've always limited my creativity to writing because I tend to excel in that area, and even that has been stifled lately.

I need to clear my own issues about perfection and simply do it, without judgment.  No one has to see it but me.  I need to think of it as an outlet rather than some supposed-to-be masterpiece.

Wishcasting Wednesday - let go and create

Today was a busy day at work, no real moments for breathers, but I wanted to get back into the habit of continuing with Wishcasting Wednesday.  Mostly, because I really enjoy it and it helps me take a look at certain areas of my life.  I also love exploring other people's wishes and putting that energy out into the world.

 picture by Fallon Akers

This week's Wishcasting Wednesday:  What do you wish for your creativity?

I feel like my creativity has always been a life line for me in many ways.  It's allowed me to survive emotions that I wasn't always equipped to handle, especially when I was a kid.  After my dad died, a lot of the time, my only outlet was my writing.  Over the last year, I've learned that my creativity, while usually expressed with writing, isn't limited to just one form.  Yes, words are my choice of drug.  I love words and how stringing together the same six words in different ways could express so many different things.

However, I'm slowly learning that I don't have to be great at something to use it as an expression of my creativity.  Creativity is energy, all around us and there for our using...there is no rule that says whatever you create has to be brilliant by anyone's standards (including your own).

My wish today is that I allow myself to lose the need to be perfect and simply enjoy the process of creation, opening myself up to so much more.  I wish that for myself and for everyone else.

one pictures sums up life...

When I saw this picture on weheartit, my first thought was of how beautiful it is.  My second thought was about how much it makes me think of life.  Not just Mother Earth, but of my own journey.  It could be anyone's story really.  Currently, as you view the photo, you're on level playing ground, the road curves a bit and in the distance you can see that things are going up, you're moving toward something...but with that knowledge comes the fact that at some point, you have to go back down and start back on the road. 

And I love the surrounding trees as well. I picture them like all the people who help/hinder us along the way.  The random stranger who makes a compliment to you on a bad day.  The best friend who always listens to you vent.  The person who cuts you off on the road.  Everyone, good and bad, is right along side you on this path.

I look at this picture and it just reminds me that life is beautiful and scary and full of unexpected curves.  And I'm okay with that.  It's taken me a long time to get to a place where I can say such a thing, but it's true. 

creativity in the bathroom...

Maybe I'm like a five year old, but I think this shower curtain would be very cool.  Too bad all three of my full bathrooms in the house have glass doors. 

You get to make your own design - pick your color marker and draw it yourself.  Of course, it would probably help to have a modicum of talent, but I still think it would be cool.

my mind is a foggy place

 

I can't remember where I found this picture.  If it's yours, please let me know so I can give proper credit.  I just adore it.  I love the foggy, quiet feel of it.  I love how you can't see the end of the bridge - where does it go?  What's waiting on the other side?

I haven't been feeling very creative lately.  Slightly drained, a lot emotional.  I'm guessing a large part of that was due to the first anniversary of my mother's death a few weeks ago.  The other part of it is just annoyances with work and life and whatever else I allowed to get under my skin.  The problem is that when I'm not able to write, even crappy sentences that no one will ever see, I feel even more disconnected and crazy.  Vicious circle.

I did have an AHA! moment on a current project.  It started as a screenplay, but as I began the second draft and noticed the plot holes, I realized that the narrative set up of this piece was much more suited for book format.  Unless I'm Quentin Tarantino, I can't get away with such a wordy screenplay (maybe once I win my first Oscar) that's not very visual at all.  So I have the basic outline/general story for a new young adult piece.  However, I'll need to start thinking up new and meaningful ideas for screenplay. 

I think I need to make some time for myself tomorrow or Monday (probably Monday as tomorrow is my sister's birthday) and just let my mind go blank and go with the flow.  Just write whatever comes out.  After all, crappy sentences are better than no sentences.  And crappy sentences can always be fixed.

Wait...what are you trying to say?

So today's question at Creative Every Day got me to thinking.

How do you tune in to your body and hear what it has to say?

 

I started meditating in the 2009 and I've found it's been a great way for me to simply be in the moment.  I can sometimes feel the emotions and the thoughts, but it allows me a chance to quiet it all.  There is also a great meditation that I'm able to do called a body scan and it takes you through every part of your body.  It's an amazing experience, as long as you can stay awake.  Yes, I admit it, the first time I attempted the meditation, I'm pretty sure I dozed off, as I doubt I'm a meditation savant. 

 

 

 

 

While I don't dance in the rain barefoot, as I'm just not that girl, and don't want to end up in a straight jacket, I love to dance.  It's my favorite form of exercise, if one could dare to say that I enjoy exercise.  I grew up dancing.  For the longest time, I was self-taught.  My father would buy me musicals on VHS like Kiss Me Kate and Singing in the Rain and I would memorize the dance numbers and perform them for my family.  I guess that supplied the idea of "hhhmmm...maybe she would like dance classes."  So I did that for a long time.  And I still have this weird knack for picking up dance moves rather quickly.  I stopped dancing after high school and it somehow fell off my radar for a long time, but I'm glad I started up with it again.  It's like an old friend who I haven't seen in awhile, but we can pick up right where we left off. 

 

I read Twyla Tharp's book on creativity and there is a part where she talks about how our bodies just know/remember things.  She even has an exercise where, even if you're reading the book not as a dancer, she has you create an eight count of moves and do it repeatedly for a few weeks.  Then you stop for a month.  And when you go back to it, your body instinctively remembers.  I love the idea that our body can recall every move we've ever made, even if we seem to forget.

And when you do hear it, do you listen?

Body:  If only you'd listen to me...
Me:  Fa, la, la...I can't hear you.
Body:  I know what you need to do...
Me:  Fa, la, la, Ms. Know It All...

I wish the above weren't an accurate take on things, but alas, there is quite a bit of truth behind it.  For the longest time, I ignored it and a lot of the emotions running through my head, wreaking havoc on my body in response.  I'm still learning to let myself just be.  To be in the present and listen to what my body is saying.  For example, I'm currently learning how to tell when I'm actually hungry and when I'm just going to eat because I can.  Hard habit to break.  I've spent years perfecting it - time to watch a movie, must eat - and actually paying attention takes work on my part.  I'm a lazy creature by nature, so some days are harder than others.

I've been using the meditation and the dancing along with a few other tools to try to pay more attention to these things.  Hopefully, it will pay off in the end.

In attempts to get the muses working

2009 was not my finest year as far as my writing goes. And I also realized over the course of the year, that I would love to be creative in other ways aside from writing - photography, drawing, painting, crafts. Maybe it's the Virgo in me or the way I was raised or a mixture of many things, but I've always believed that if it doesn't come easily, I shouldn't do it.

But that seems like I'm limiting myself so much. I'm not saying I expect to draw anything I would ever share with anyone else, but I think it would be nice to be able to do it on the simplest level.

So along with doing the Soul Cafe prompts, I'm participating in the 2010 Creative Every Day Challenge