Wednesday, May 9, 2012

this house is not a home

I decided that no matter what I am making time for myself today to take part in Wishcasting Wednesday.  It's always a great thing to ponder and focus on and I love the interaction with the other wishcasters.  Things have been busy and I've been feeling woe-is-me lately, but I'm only punishing myself by ignoring the things that I love.

Today Jamie asks:

courtesy of we heart it

"Until you value yourself, you will not value your time.  Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it." - M. Scott Peck

It's funny and serendipitous that this question comes up after I just finished a therapy session where I spent a large time talking about my house and the things that need to get done that I keep feeling paralyzed by.  I'm so bogged down by resentment about the house situation I'm in (that originally was not of my making, but it's my own doing that I've let it go on) and so overwhelmed by the amount of stuff just taking up the house.  Both my parents were pack rats.  And in the past year, my sister and I have become hardcore couponers with a growing stockpile.  Except it's currently all over the place and unorganized, driving the Virgo in my more than a little insane.  My mother moved all her crap from place to place and now it's sitting in my sun room in boxes out the wazoo because I still haven't gone through it all.  A part of it is just that there is so much and it always falls to me to do this stuff and it's not fair.  Another part of it is that I feel slightly guilty that I feel no sentimental attachment to any of it.  If I could legally do it without destroying the house or hurting someone, I would just set the big pile of crap on fire and call it a day.    Mostly though, I think about everything that has to be done, get overwhelmed and can't focus on doing it in baby steps.  Like with everything else, baby steps are a good thing to remember.  Instead of trying to conquer a lifetime worth of stuff, I should focus on one section of a room at a time.  

There are so many things I'd like to do for my house and not all require a ton of money (which is very tight). So my wish for my home is that it starts to feel more like a house than a prison by me taking things little by little and sorting it out.  And if we could also qualify for a lower mortgage rate by refinancing, that would be great too.

7 comments:

Lindsay Drya Vanhove said...

Good luck with turning your place into a real home :).
As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

Jill said...

Here's hoping you can clear out one tiny little space where you feel comforted and relaxed. Just remember, under all that stuff, there is space, it's never gone anywhere, and will wait as long as necessary to be uncovered--and even covered, it is still THERE. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.

Tracy Makara said...

Oh dear! That does sound difficult. As you've wished for yourself, I wish for you also. Here's to making your house a home.

Elle Hull said...

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

I hope you can find a way to take back your home and make it your own again. I can totally understand your frustration.

Tao said...

Wow, this post really resonated with me as another Virgo resentful of their living situation! Good luck and I wish you a sorted and happy home!

tiatuenge said...

Wow, it seems like Jamie's prompt was serindiptous for a lot of us. I feel your pain:)

As you wish for yourself, I too wish for you. May you sift through your mom's stuff with ease and speed.

Best of luck, xx

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

If you are not attached to the objects and they are in boxes, why not phone a charity and let them take it all away? Somebody else will deal with the sorting, many will be happy to get new (to them) stuff, you will have empty space.
As Mare wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.