Wednesday, June 6, 2012

to be delighted...

It seems that as soon as I feel like "hey, things are ok," I am reminded how sad my state of affairs currently is.  I just had to spend money on a new washer and dryer, only to find out that people who had my house before made some sort of makeshift draining system that confounded my plumber (it's never good to hear, "I'm not sure how your basement hasn't flooded by now") and cost nine hundred dollars to fix.  Seriously, universe, what are you trying to tell me?  What do I need to learn so I can move on from the woe-is-me phase of things?

In good news, I managed to get my room cleaned and decluttered.  Next is the stockpile from couponing.  My sister and I have enough toothpaste to last a few years at this point (and I didn't pay for any of it - viva la coupons!), but it was just all over the place.  I finally had to put my foot down as our house was starting to look like an episode of Hoarders.

Slowly trying to get rid of my mother's stuff.  I have finally let go of any feelings of sentimentality and guilt that I've had about the possibility of selling/donating/trashing her things.  Both her and my father were pack rats and I'm drowning in stuff.  Argh.

Also good - I have been off all soda for 47 days today.  It has not been easy and some days I really want a Coke, but I drink my water and if I need something sweet, I have a glass of Newman's Own Lemonade.  I now want to turn my success with soda into success with snacking.

Even better than good?   Today is wishcasting Wednesday.  I've been neglecting the lovely circle of wishcasters and I resolve to correct that immediately.

Today Jamie asks:

courtesy of we heart it

"Quit hanging on to the handrails....Let Go.  Surrender.  Go for the ride of your life.  
Do it every day." - Melodie Beattie

Building on what I wrote above, I wish to delight in some sense of stability and organization in my life.  I feel like things are in chaos - emotionally and physically - and I keep having these dreams of just packing up my car with what I need and moving on.  No strings attached.  Nothing to hold me back.  While I'm not quite ready to just abandon my house and job and such, I do think my subconscious wants me to free myself a bit.  

I wish to breathe easily, without fear and what if thoughts bogging me down.  I wish to delight in all the small triumphs I make on my way and to remember them when things are tough and I need proof that I am capable.  I wish to feel like I'm flying or riding in a ferris wheel like the one in the picture, looking out into the distance, wind brushing against my cheeks and the sun giving way to night.  Free and happy.

What do you wish for?


erinrichardson said...

Hi again Mare! I'm just getting on top of a chronic mental illness, (just takes some great meds hehe) so I'm returning to Wishcasting as well.

I can completely relate to your wish, for stability, organisation and the desire to breath easily, without fear.

I am sure you will achieve these things, now that you have written them here.

As you wish for yourself, so do I wholeheartedly wish for you as well ♥

Wild Soul Woman said...

A great Wish Mare! As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also xx

Elle Hull said...

I've been in this position, Mare. Hang tough! As Mare wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Tracy Makara said...

Fantastic wish Mare. As you wish for yourself, I gladly wish for you also.

Anonymous said...

What a great wish Mare! And good job with staying away from soda for 47 days!

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

Mujer Luna said...

Great wish! I am with you all the way! As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you too xxx

Lilyweeds at Augusta Kent Studio said...

What a great wish. Keeping you in my happy thoughts. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also. ~diana

BunnyKissd said...

I could use some stability and organization in my life too... As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.