Wednesday, February 2, 2011

there was no shadow, one less thing to worry about...

Happy Ground Hog Day (spring is upon us - the groundhog saw no shadow) and happy wishcasting wednesday!  I'm trying not to let the weather get me down as we weren't hit too bad here in South Jersey and I still got a delayed opening.  Plus, I feel like I had a small, but necessary breakthrough in therapy today.

Anyway, back to wishcasting.  Today Jamie asks:

Jamie's questions so often fall in line with what's going on in my life and things I am going through.  It's the universe hard at work, working with all its might to make me see things clearly.

I wish to let go of the negativity that plagues me.  I will keep saying it until it sticks.  I wish to let go of the guilt that I should've saved my mother, I should've taken better care of her, should've protected her more.  I wish to let go of that and accept that I was the child and she was the parent.  It was supposed to be the other way around and I'm allowed to seek happiness and joy and put the blame for her lack of self-worth on her shoulders.  It wasn't something I could control.  I wish to unburden myself with this strange belief that complacency is best out of weird fear.   My father died when I was a little kid, leaving me with an alcoholic mother, who died suddenly two years ago.  If I can survive those things, I can get through pretty much anything.  I'm stronger than I give myself credit for.

Mostly, I just wish to unburden myself of these beliefs for what my life should be that were never my own so that I can finally be happy in my own skin.

what do you wish for?

Note for my fellow wishcasters:  In case I don't get to everyone, please know that as you wish for yourself, I truly wish for you. 


GlendaM said...

May this burden be released and you find peace and love. As Mare wishes for herself, so do I wish for her as well.

Maria said...

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also. ~M

Sarah Lulu said...

Not only are you "allowed" to seek happiness and joy ... you must embrace it!

Your alcoholic Mum only knew what she knew ...a disease had her in it's grip, let go of her burden you can live your own life. It's yours to live ...step out of the shadows in to the light.

I hope you have SO much fun from this moment onwards.

As you wish for yourself I so lovingly wish this for you also.

I love that movie Groundhog Day ..of course it's summer over here!


Anonymous said...

Mare - You must let go of the burden of negativity and guilt about your Mom. (And I know this is easier said than done.) Sara Lulu is right - she only knew what she knew - could only give what she could give. And now you must move forward to embrace your wonderful life.

As Mare wishes for herself, I so also wish for her!

Anonymous said...

Mare, thanks for sharing about your life. I needed to hear, "I am stronger than I give myself credit for". I think my word for the year must be strength. It keeps showing up. As you wish for yourself, Mare, so I wholeheartedly wish for you as well!

Cindy said...

I've had a couple of alcoholics in my life; it isn't pretty, is it? I do hope you can let go of your feelings of responsibility, because you couldn't live your mom's life and make her decisions for her. You couldn't protect her -- and it wasn't your job to. She was responsible for her own life, just as you are responsible for yours. Keep letting go of the negativity. One day it will stick!

As Mare wishes for herself, so do I lovingly wish for her also.

Googlover/keishua said...

I hope you move forward burden free. That is such a heavy load to shoulder. may you dance in freedom and joy. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you, too.