Thursday, July 21, 2011

Artist's Way - check in (end of week 2)

I'm so behind on posting my check-ins, but the Artist's Way group finished with Chapter One and we're underway with chapter two.  I must get better with getting on my computer more in my non-working hours.  I think part of the reason, despite hating getting up extra early, that the morning pages are working for me is that I just need a notebook.  And I've been doing most of my writing and tasks in a notebook as well - I used to love getting on the computer after work no matter what, but lately, I'm just drained after using it all day at work.  I need to still set aside some time to check-in in a timely fashion.

So, I finished with Chapter One on Sunday and began Chapter two.  It was a hard start for me in some areas - I kept procrastinating and putting things off.  Even though I started with the group on July 3rd, aside from morning pages, the first week, I really didn't do much except read the intro and first chapter.

1) Have you been doing your pages?

I've done my morning pages every day.  Though, as I've mentioned before, some days they're called "Not Quite Morning Pages" if I'm running late in the morning before work.  rather than blowing them off completely or referring to myself as an abject failure, I've decided that if I miss them in the morning, while not ideal, it's still better to do the pages when I have a moment of time (usually my lunch break).  It has definitely been, as Julia Cameron mentions in the book, mostly a negative dumping ground for me at times.  Or thinking about all that I have to do.  Or recalling dreams.  No profound writing has come out of it yet, but I'm doing it. 

2) Have you been on an artist date? Share! Pics are cool, so we can see the world through your eyes.

I did not have any artist dates during the last two weeks.  I've been trying to figure it out and put aside the time for myself, but I'd get sidetracked with plans and life and excuses to avoid it.  It is on my calendar for this Saturday morning and I think I'm just going to do something simple like pick up a coloring book and doodle/color.  Since money is currently tight, I'm trying to think of simple things that are free.  At some point I might go over to Philly and visit the museum...and once it cools down a bit, I'll take a walk or two...but for now, I'm trying to work out some ideas for time alone where I can have fun and play.  I admit it still feels weird.  How sad is it that this will probably be one of the hardest parts for me?

3) Have you written a task? Yay for you! More than one?

I worked on the pick a job you'd like to have list, however, I didn't do any of the things based around if I had another job.  I wrote out about my three biggest critics on the creative journey and it was interesting and sad and I found myself crying when I wrote it.  I began to do the one about cheerleaders, but I stopped myself.  Just further proof that I tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive. 

I've also been doing the daily affirmations, which aside from the Artist's Date, is probably the hardest part for me.  I have been writing down the evil Censor voice with it.  But every time I write, "I, Marianne, am a talented person," I still wince and think, "Not really.  You suck."  Stupid censor. 

I will continue working daily affirmations into my morning pages, keep my Artist's Dates, and stop procrastinating on reading/completing tasks.

6 comments:

Anne said...

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. Just stick with it. Remember that this is supposed to be fun. Or at least for me it is. It's hard not to listen to our nasty inner critics, but keep working on it. Oh, and I found it really hard to get started before I took ownership of the process. Don't know if that makes sense, but I just shifted my thinking from this being imposed from the outside (the thought of which made me drag my feet) to it coming from the inside. Me doing it for myself. I've been in tears, too, but catharsis is a good thing.

Ginny said...

I think you are doing great. I have skipped many of the things we are supposed to do and just doing the parts of the book that I want. I have heard of many people going through this book several times and getting different things for the book each time.
Thank you for saying something positive about my watercolor. It takes guts putting it up there but I have noticed that the people who post their work seem to get better and better as time goes on. So although I don't paint alot, I am going to paint and post more often. I think your idea of playing and doodling as an artist's date is great. Have fun with whatever you do!

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Yay for you on showing up. :) We´ll cheer for you and work on keeping your censor at bay. :)
The handwriting seems to really connect us with the project.

Dream With the Fishes said...

Keep on, you're doing fabulous! I'm with you on the content of the Morning Pages as mostly brain dump and not very profound. But they are a great way to get this negative, icky stuff out of our heads. And yeah, they come in very handy for jotting down the interesting dreams we had last night, if done in the morning. And I know how hard it is to come home from work and feel too drained to think about being on the computer. Personally, I've been just crashing on the couch alot this week upon getting home. But I commend you for doing every little thing you can and sticking to this, and I applaud your breathroughs! And I so wanted give you a hug when you said you cried thinking on your biggest critics. Aso in regard to those nasty blurts. I know, I know. I do hear ya. My inner critics been p-r-e-t-t-y darn nasty, as well. But give yourself a big 'ol pat on the back and keep on moving forward with this because you're KICKING CRITIC ASS!!

Beverley Baird said...

One thing about taking time to do this book, is that we can take our time! We can do what we want when we want. You've been doing great so far - morning papers are my weak point!
See you next with chap. 2!

Camilla said...

Hang in there - I'm struggling too. It's not meant to be easy. Real growth requires some pain. Do what you can, and don't beat up on yourself about what you can't or don't do. I set a goal for myself of ONE task per chapter. There's no way I'll do them all, and if I approach them knowing that, I won't do ANY. So I have told myself I can handle ONE. Now I have to choose one to do! Not so easy. I've finished reading chapter 2, but am stuck at the tasks at the moment.

Stick with us - you're doing fine!

Camilla