Thursday, July 28, 2011

Artist's Way Check-In: Week 3 - Chapter 2, Part 1

I've done my morning pages every day and every day in the morning!  Today was a close call where I almost thought about putting it off, but I just sucked it up and got up and did some writing.  I also had my first creative breakthrough today in a long while.  It wasn't while I was writing my morning pages, but on my way to work, a song I've listened to a million times before, got me thinking about this idea.  And a few minutes later I had a potential title and a main character and the first few sentences to a prologue. 

Artist's date - I did keep my artist's date this past Saturday.  I so wanted to not do it, coming up with several excuses for why I didn't have to do it, but I did.  I went to the dollar store and perused the arts & crafts section and picked up a few things without breaking the budget.  Then I went to the library and picked up a book on drawing for beginners and doodled in my new pad while drinking a Slushie (it was just so hot and it was yummy!).  This week, if not's excruciatingly hot, I'm going to the Fine Arts Festival at Cooper River Park.  It's free and could be interesting.

I've read chapter two and reviewed "Basic Priniciples" on page 3 a few times - I even typed them up and taped a copy in my notebook - but I haven't done any of the tasks yet.  I took some notes and highlighted my book and realized a few things, which I did write down.  Mostly, I realized why I've never made it through/past chapter two when I previously tried to do the Artist's Way. 

"Blocked creatives are easily manipulated by guilt." - Chapter 2, pg 43

This chapter deals a lot with crazymakers and poisonous playmates...and looking back, my life was overrun with both.  I've slowly managed to cull a lot of that out and I've been working in therapy in lessening the voice of my mother, the biggest crazymaker in my life, in my head.  I read over the list of the ways the crazymaker can keep us from becoming unblocked and I've fallen victim to all of those in the past and sometimes I still do.  It's so hard to not just realize logically but actually get to the place where I can put myself first without the guilt.  I'm trying though.  I don't think I was ready to face the journey the last time, but this time, I feel like I can do it.

For the remainder of the week I need to work on some of the tasks and Saturday, here's to another artist's date.  Maybe once I get the hang of Saturday morning dates by myself, I can add an extra date in the week, but right now I'm still out of my comfort zone with just the one and I don't want to set myself up for failure.

I'm really enjoying this journey with the Artist's Way group and taking our time with each chapter and not stressing about it. 

4 comments:

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

You are doing a wonderful job of showing up day after day. It´s great that you are ready to read some of the things that were too much before. Keep going sweetie! :)

Ginny said...

I am really impressed with how much you are doing. You are way ahead of me. Basically, I am reading, underlining passages that mean something to me and going on artist's date. I think you are doing great.

Dream With the Fishes said...

Yay you, for keeping to the morning pages and keeping your Artist's Dates! And a giant yay for your breakthrough!! I echo you in what you're saying about having too much experience with crazymakers in your life. I used to be a huge crazymaker magnet and am still not completely demagnetized, though far better. And a giant DITTO on my mom being the biggest one. Oh my God, do I know what that's like. Especially the guilt part. Hang in there and your resolve and your strength will continue to grow until no one can manipulate you into anything!

Lucy Ladham-Dyment said...

As you, I also had one of the principles resound with me. Keep up your good work.