Wednesday, September 21, 2011

letting the good take over...

I just returned from therapy.  Good, if not tough session.  I always feel bad or wrong when my answer to questions is "I don't know."  I'm working on this feeling bad stuff though.  It's time to stop being so hard on myself, but for every little step forward, I end up with two back.  As we talked about today, I think a lot of it involves hope for me.  So much has happened in my life, so many bad things, that I find it hard to believe it can be good and wonderful.  I'm suspicious of it, like I'll get happy and have the ground fall out from underneath me.

The thing is...yeah, it's happened before.  It's happened and I've survived.  I always survive.  So what am I so scared of?

Much to ponder, but for now I shall ponder my wishes for Wishcasting Wednesday.

This week Jamie asks:


courtesy of we heart it

I wish to immerse myself in pursuing the things that make me happy.  I feel like that's a bit huge and open-ended, but it's kind of where I'm at.  I want to spend my time writing and working out and bettering myself because I deserve it.  I do deserve it.  Maybe if I keep saying it, the words will finally click in my head and I'll believe them - I deserve to be happy.  Best way I know to make that happen?  Do things I love.  

So here's to spending all of my free time writing and playing and dancing and enjoying life.  

10 comments:

Camilla said...

You are right. You DESERVE to be happy! Go for it. :)

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

Alli said...

Yes. Happiness is yours! I have this theory - I've had it since I was a very young child, not sure of the origin, but I always felt like there had to be some balance. And because so many bad things have happened in my life, I expect the rest of my life to be extremely good. And when more bad things happened, I just kept expecting some amazingly good things to follow that. I am 54 and now I am seeing the amazingly good things and wow. I would go through hell and back to get to the point where I am at right now, because life is amazing.
As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.

LaWendula said...

Yes you DO deserve it! So let the happiness in! xo

As you wish for yourself, I gladly wish for you.

Kim Switzer said...

This sounds great! Have fun! As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you as well.

realliverevolution said...

Yay for embracing the good! As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you.

Sam said...

I have found immersing myself in things I love and living with gratitude (even for the not so great things) has made a HUGE difference in my life. I wish you the very, very best in your immersion...one step at a time!

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you!

Ginny said...

I find that concentrating on the good and then being grateful for them helps especially when things are tough. You do deserve to be happy. Do the things that make you smile and enjoy them. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.

DonnaOnTheBeach said...

Ooh, how delicious to spend all of your free time dancing and writing and doing what you love to do. Not only do you deserve to be happy, you will be when you're spending your life doing what you love! As you wish for yourself, I wholeheartedly wish for you also. xx

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

You do desewrve to be happy. Focus on doing what you love to do.
As Mare wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

The Purple Lady said...

Wow! just wow! I discovered you through twitter and feel blessed that you were following me and I was checking through to discover gems to follow back! I like your writing, your blog and I am thinking we will become blog buddies for sure! I can identify with everything you wrote on this particular post right now. I am even going to therapy :) If you would like, check out my blog All Things Purple and if you like what you see Follow Me! So so glad we are connected