Monday, December 6, 2010

Day 5 & 6: Reverb 10 (Let Go & Make)

Once again, I totally forgot about Reverb 10 yesterday.  I'm not going to beat myself up about it as I think that defeats the purpose of the whole exercise, but where is my memory going?

December 5th: Let Go.  What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

I've been on an continuing journey to let go of all the baggage I've been carrying around for thirty-some years, so afraid to stop protecting my mother from the emotional pain she inflicted on me and the ways I shut down because of it.  It's been painful, enlightening, and I'm not sure I've ever cried so much in my life.  I'm still a long way from completely free, but I'm slowly letting go of the anger and disappointment with her, myself, and my life and focus on the present.  The now.

December 6th:  Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

I haven't made anything with my hands in a very long time.  I want to do it.  I want to learn and explore, but I'm so scared because I fear imperfection and I'm such a far cry from that when it comes to making things.  Logically, I know it's silly, but it's like a brick wall.  I've always limited my creativity to writing because I tend to excel in that area, and even that has been stifled lately.

I need to clear my own issues about perfection and simply do it, without judgment.  No one has to see it but me.  I need to think of it as an outlet rather than some supposed-to-be masterpiece.

No comments: