Wednesday, November 24, 2010

One day I'll see myself the way others do...at least sometimes...

My moods seem to swing from one extreme to the next lately.  last week was good, this week not so good with panic attacks and sadness.  It helped having therapy today and it's wishcasting wednesday, which always reminds me of all the positive in the universe and those who channel it. 

Today, Jamie asks:




This question on this day continues to provide me with proof that there is some magical madness behind the questions asked on any given day.  It's fitting today.  I just left therapy with homework from my therapist - to recognize when a compliment is paid to me. 

It seems like a simple thing, to be able to acknowledge that I did something well or helped someone, and to accept, at face value, a compliment that is paid to me.  But it's the most gut-wrenching moment for me.  I say "thank you" because I'm always polite - one of the good things my mother drilled into me at a young age - but I never really believe it.  I'm suspicious of compliments or, at the very least, I think obviously these people don't really see how wrong they are.  And it's gotten to a point, that now, in my thirties, I barely even notice if someone has said something positive about me (and yet, the smallest negative thing will just take over my brain for days and days). 

The thing is, on some level, I know that I am deserving of compliments, but it's so hard to even fathom how to process such a thing.

I turn to the universe this week for guidance.  I wish to invite in the comprehension that someone is complimenting me and the ability to process it without automatically dismissing it.  I wish to invite in the positive for myself and then be able to pass it onto others. 

10 comments:

Jeniffer said...

Mare, as you wish, so do I wish for you.

You are not alone in your thoughts.

Biomouse said...

Wow, that's a hard wish that I know, absolutely know is a struggle to achieve for some people (like my husband for instance). I'm so glad that you found this question to be useful in delving a little deeper this week into what you were already working on, and wouldn't it be wonderful if you could wake up tomorrow and totally accept in your whole mind and heart compliments and signs of gratitude without hesitation? My husband has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known, even those it's fearful sometimes and not as self kind as it should be, I'll bet your heart is bigger than your body too :) As you wish for yourself Mare, I wholeheartedly wish back. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Cazamataz said...

As a 'child of the universe' you are soooo deserving of compliments and positivity ...as you wish for yourself I wholeheartedly wish for you also.

Shannon said...

Beautiful post. I am glad I found your blog. We seem to have a lot in common. I look forward to following you.

As you wish for yourself, I too wish fo you.

Blessings, Shannon

Marilyn said...

wishing for you an open heart to receive all of the positivity coming your way. as you wish for yourself, i wish for you also.

GlendaM said...

As Mare wishes for herself, so do I wish for her as well.

collectingyourself said...

You have come to this question with such genuiness. I am sometimes in that place myself. It is good to know that others are there with me. As you wish for yourself, Mare, so I also wholeheartedly wish for you.

Genie Sea said...

It's oh so hard sometimes to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others,isn't it? Your gremlins and mine can go out for drinks while we lock the door behind them when they leave! :)

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also! :)

Kim Switzer said...

Sorry I'm late! What a wonderful wish. It can be so hard to accept the good coming our way. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you as well.

LissaL said...

It seems as if many of us have struggled with the same issue. Compliments are meant to be enjoyed. So lets have at IT:)

As Mare wishes for herself, so I wish also