Wednesday, September 29, 2010

stepping into my own and trying to leave anxiety behind

Today has not been my best. I woke up with a bad headache, but took some meds, slept a little more, and used my neti-pot before heading to work. Around ten am, I started to feel queasy and nauseous, so around noon, I just asked the manager in charge if I could use some sick time. I felt like ick.

However, I still had therapy at noon and you can't cancel without paying a fee, so I went and promptly had a panic attack while there. I guess it's one of the better places to have such an attack, if such a thing exists. So, after my session, my therapist told me it was definitely a good idea to go home, rest and such. That's what I've been doing. Meditation helped a bit. So did a Xanax. Yes, one day I would like to be completely off medications, but not quite there yet.

Anyway, it's Wishcasting Wednesday! And that's always a chance to think positively and put that out into the universe for others. I enjoy it and I feel like it might be helpful to me today.



Over the past year or so I've been slowly discovering my own voice, coming into my own, and realizing things I need/want to do to make my life happier.  Now it's time to accept that knowledge, gather up the confidence in myself to go, and step out into the world I want to create.  I constantly battle with my own right to be happy on my own terms versus the way I was raised.  I'm not regimental and the idea of "growing up" the way my mother wanted isn't who I am.  I'm creative and it's okay to embrace that and find a way to make my life about those things.  Just believe, Mare.  It will be okay and you can do it.



13 comments:

Marilyn said...

i'm affirming that...it is okay. as you wish for yourself, i wish for you also. i'm glad you participated...it's nice to go around the circle and focus on the positive aspects of our lives, regardless of whatever's swirling around us.

thewildpomegranate said...

As you wish for yourself, I wholeheartedly wish for you as well!

It's MORE than OK! The World need you to sing your song, little bird! You're the only one who can sing it!

Hugs,
Grace

J's Girl said...

As you wish for yourself, so do I wish for you.....be who you are :D

Chel said...

As mare wishes for herself, I wish for you also.

Carola Bartz said...

As Mare wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Be who you are - there's only one you!

morningstarstudio.ca said...

Oh yes I so want to send you all the support and encouragement I possibly can for this wish. As you wish for yourself i wish for you also.
Much Love

morningstarstudio.ca said...

Oh yes I so want to send you all the support and encouragement I possibly can for this wish. As you wish for yourself i wish for you also.
Much Love

Cindy Jones said...

The ways our parents want us to be as a grown up.....can be damaging for any of us. It can be especially damaging if let others tell us it's ok to be ______ and for us to fall back into the same comfortable position. As Mare wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

Googlover/keishua said...

What a courageous wish. As you wish, so I wish for you.

GlendaM said...

As Mare wishes for herself, so do I wish for her as well.

collectingyourself said...

Mare, as you wish for yourself, I wholeheartedly wish for you too.

collectingyourself said...

Mare, as you wish for yourself, I wholeheartedly wish for you too.

Cindy said...

Just believe, Mare! It will be okay and you can do it!

As Mare wishes for herself, so do I wish for her also!