It's also Wishcasting Wednesday, which is always so on-point with the universe and a wonderful way to share dreams and wishes with a group of great people.
Today Jamie asks:
courtesy of we heart it
I am so afraid of leaving people behind and transforming my life for the better out of fear that I stand there paralyzed. It's how I've lived most of my life thus far. I doubt every choice I make. I convince myself I don't deserve happiness or to put myself first - it's selfish and I'm bad, bad, bad. I get it stuck in my head that I have no willpower, I'm lazy, and every other horrible thing I can think of to only further keep myself from trying things. And then I hate myself for not moving forward. it's an ugly, vicious circle.
About a week ago, my sister said something to me about how, yes, my mother was horrible and a bad parent in many ways, but she's gone now. Do I let her keep infecting my life in negative ways or do I do something about it? And she's right. I'm still giving my mother all the power. I'm still putting myself last, behind someone who is no longer living for god's sake, and it leaves me sad and missing out on my own journey.
Today I wish to begin my own journey without being hampered by my mother's voice in my ear and without allowing my own gremlin to control every choice I make. I've made great strides. I'm smart and capable and I do have willpower. There is a lot of good things about me and I need to focus on those and enjoy small victories as I work toward the life I want. I wish to begin moving along the road of transformation - weight, work, and creativity. I wish to begin to notice my achievements, however small they seem because I sure do notice the equally small failures.
Mostly, I wish to begin. To simply do and stop waiting for some unidentifiable thing.