Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Artist's Way Check-In: Yes, I'm still on the journey

I've been incredibly lackadaisical about posting my progress on my Artist's Way journey and offering support and encouragement to my fellow travelers.  One of the things I wrote about in my morning pages this morning was how I was going to make a better effort on both of those matters.  I fell behind a few weeks ago - never really recovering from the idea of a break from reading and such...and just flailing at my own inability to give it up and wondering if my fighting the need for the break is a sign that I really need to do it or just hey, I love reading and it's one of the ways I relax after crazy work.

I've been doing the other chapter work.  Chapter six's tasks were different for me because it wasn't just writing and pondering so much as doing things.  I managed to go through some clothes and picked up bags to finally go through all my mom's stuff.  UGH!  I have put this off for so long, but it's like this albatross around my neck.  I'll feel more free once it's done, but it seems so permanent and hard in a way.

Chapter Seven, I'm still working on some of the tasks even though we're into chapter eight.  I'm trying to take my time with each exercise but I also go through periods of time where I want nothing to do with the journey.  My censor is trying to hold on tight to things.  But this chapter...I highlighted and notated so much.  Everything about perfection and risks, I can truly relate.  I always find myself dissecting sentences that I write simply because I imagine it could be so much better.  Whenever I go to continue to writing on a project, I feel compelled to read back over everything from before.  And risks - I like to hide behind being a Virgo and practical by nature, but I often fear the simplest risks.  It was good to read this and not only go AHA! I'm not alone!  but to know that I can combat it, no matter how hard.

Morning pages:  i've missed a few random days since July, but I'm usually really good about getting up and doing my pages first thing in the morning.  It's become part of my routine.  It's mostly a dumping ground for dreams and things I need to do and blahs, but it does help to unclutter my mind.

Artist's Dates:  I've been horrible with these over the past month or so.  My sister, who normally works Saturdays, has been off the last couple of Saturdays and we end up doing some of our couponing.  I know she would understand if I was like, "I need to go do my artist's date" but I never bring it up.  I'm still struggling with this idea of playtime just for me and doing things that don't cost money (as it's super tight).  Can going to Barnes & Noble, buying a new release you've been waiting for, and reading it in one sitting count?

This process has helped me in some ways.  I'm more open to being crafty, even if it's not my forte, and just trying new creative things that in the past I viewed as off-limits.  I am setting up a small craft area in our family room in the corner.  We're going to make some shelving and put in two tables - one for the sewing machine and one just to play on...and organize all the crafts and materials.  I'm excited about this, just need to clear out the space.

Now I'm off to do some work and then check in on everyone's journeys.

Edit:  In my long-winded update, I somehow managed to forget to answer the weekly questions on this week's check-in.

1) Morning pages:  have you been tempted to read back?  Yes, I have.  I'm onto notebook three of my morning pages and I was thinking this weekend it might be interesting to see what I wrote, but I don't know if I'm quite ready.  There is a lot of negativity in those pages and I'm not sure I'm far enough away from it yet.  Also, as is the case on many days, i sometimes find myself writing, "Not sure what else to say"

2)  Artist's Date:  Terrible with these.  I have to get out of my own way with this.  The whole "perfection" theme of the chapter works well in regards to this.  I put so much focus on the need to do something fun that I get anxiety and do nothing.  I just need to find some really cheap, fun and creative things to do.  No pressure.

3)  See the whole long diatribe above.

3 comments:

Camilla said...

Glad to hear you are still with us! Get creative with your Artist Date - even going to the grocery store can count! Admire the lovely fall squash. Heck, take a photograph of the display :) Barnes and Noble definitely rates as an Artist Date to me!!

I get hung up on the perfectionism thing too. You are not alone with that one.

Scarlet said...

I hear you, sometimes I want nothing to do with the journey but then I realize how far I've come and I DO want to be a part of it and see what the future holds. When serendipity hits I KNOW I'm doing the right thing.

Glad you are not giving up. It's all about doing it anyway (whether we're into it or not). Sometimes on the days I did NOT want to write I felt I expressed myself more clearly and came away from the Morning Pages renewed and refueled.

I, too, haven't been on an interesting Artist's Date in a while, although I could count a few outings as artist dates, I don't think they are special enough. Do they really have to be?? Hmm...maybe not.

Glad to hear you're open to new things (like being crafty). I've experimented with textures and watercolor and I'm working with cheap canvas panels to experiment more with acrylics. (They're cheap so if I make mistakes...so be it. I will learn from them.)

Best of luck with Chapter 8 and have a great week!! :)

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

So good to see you here!
This is a wonderful summary of your journey so far and it´s great that you kept going. We are all taking the little tidbits that resonate with us and working at letting the rest go. The chapter about perfectionism is striking a chord all around!