Thursday, January 7, 2010

a minor setback

Currently battling bronchitis. I had started to feel sick over the holidays, but it seemed to go away and then Monday morning...BAM. It hit hard. Needless to say several things, including work (which is so not good), fell to wayside in favor of sleeping and mindless watching of television - yesterday was a Top Model marathon on Bravo!

Last time I exercised was Monday and the doctor said I have to give it a few more days and even then, I have to take it easy. He said he was proud of me for wanting to get right back at it, but it's more about a routine for me. Working out, while never my favorite thing to do, has become something I just know needs to be done. Sort of like laundry and showering and taking out the trash. I don't really enjoy the act of exercise, but I do enjoy the healthy side effects, including loser-fitting clothes.

So I'm feeling down and out at the moment. I feel like crap, I can't work out and my demon brain goes right to all the ways this is just an omen and that I'm a failure and blah, blah, blah, and yesterday would've been my mother's 66 birthday. And 21 days from now will be the first anniversary of her death. It's a weird thing. Sometimes it feels like it just happened, surely a year hasn't passed already. And some days I feel like she's been gone for so long now that it sort of blends into the background the way my father's death does (He died when I was eleven).

On a positive, I am taking part in the Day Zero Project, where you set out to do 101 things in 1001 days. Not quite three years. Sorta like a bucket list, but a little less depressing, as I don't want to wait until I'm near death to finally enjoy life.

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