Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Delayed Opening at Work & Wishcasting Wednesday!

Today was all over the place.  A lot to try to process and I'm not sure I'm quite there yet.  But let's focus on the good.  I didn't have to be at work until 10:30am today, which gave the roads time to clear and made my work day shorter.  And it's Wishcasting Wednesday!

Today Jamie asks:


 courtesy of We Heart It

I have been feeling so depleted lately, emptiness running amuck.  Depression, illness, and the cold weather have had their ways with me and this week I'm slowly coming out of this fog.  It's like last week was a dream in many ways.  I remember bits and pieces - pangs of moments, but no real clarity.  I talked to my therapist today about this.  it's the time of year for me.  My mother's birthday was last week.  Her death was at the end of the month (two years on January 28th - seems almost surreal how fast time has gone).  It was a death that came out of the blue and my sister and I were the ones to find her.  Throw in the fact that I'm trying to make sense of all these feelings about my mother that I've harbored for so many years and I've been a bundle of emotion.

I simply feel like there are moments where I have no more to give.  Last week I slept a lot.  A lot.  And I felt bad about it.

So I guess, what I wish most regarding renewals, is that I allow myself to do it.  That if I find myself feeling depleted and sleep seems like a good idea - it probably is a good idea.  I need to stop feeling like the only way to live is to deny myself even the simplest things.  It's an ongoing battle for me, but I wish, with all my might, that I could learn to just let myself do what comes naturally without all the negative voices in my brain.

I want to play in the rain.  I want to laugh and sing (badly) at the top of my lungs.  I want to write epic stories and find happiness.  I want to be able to sleep and dream and replenish.  I want it all.

12 comments:

Lucy Ladham-Dyment said...

Wow, as you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

Maria said...

Play, play ... As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

valeriehart said...

Oh Mare, I wish I could come over and give you some hugs, and take you out to lunch... sigh. Sound like you need some serious self-care. I hope you are doing that for yourself. And I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost your Mom... big sigh.

As Mare wishes to take care of her needs and love herself, so I wish for her as well.

Love & blessings,
xoxo Valerie

Valerie Hart
http://valeriehart.com

Ginny said...

As Mare wishes for herself, I wish for her as well. It is ok and actually necessary to take good care of yourself. Laugh, have fun, jump in puddles and sleep if that is what you need.

Effy said...

Oh, dear heart...as you wish for yourself, so do I wish for you also. <3

realliverevolution said...

Oh, as you wish for yourself, I sincerely wish for you.

Sarah Lulu said...

As replenished Mare wishes for herself I so lovingly wish this for her also. xx

Maggie J said...

You will 'renew and resurface'
As Mare wishes for herself, so too I wish for Mare.

Shari said...

As you wish for yourself I wish for you also. Be gentle with yourself and rest when you need to. Sometimes still having the desire to play and dream and live and laugh is enough. The days will come for you to dance in the rain, songs will fill your lungs, and peace will be in your heart.

Killlashandra said...

As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also!

Play in the rain, play play play. I don't know, sounds silly but it helps when you play with toys again and smile. Sleep is good too. Don't knock it. :)

DonnaOnTheBeach said...

Mare, as you wish for yourself, I wish with all my heart for you also. Take care of you sweetie. xxx

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

As Mare wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Take care. Thanks for wishing for me even when I was unclear about it. :)